The Beauty of Insanity
by AlucardChick101
Summary: Who doesn't like a little violence, guns, bombs, gore, and insanity? Deadpool is the embodiment of these things, but recently a new one has been added to the list. Deadpool X OC
1. Chapter 1

I don't own deadpool (sadly), nor the Avengers (sad once more). But the awesome people who created these awesome crazy characters are freaking brilliant! Now that my fangirl moment is over... on with the story.

 **Bold= Doctor Bong *if you don't know who that is, it's the logical voice in Deadpool's head.***

 _Italics= Madcap *Once more, this is the psychotic voice inside of Deadpool's head*_

Deadpool giggled as he slowly tipped toed towards the bed where a lump of covers laid, sleeping peacefully. He knew just exactly how to get payback on the person for taking his beloved chimichangas.

 **She's going to kill you when she wakes up.**

 _You mean she's going to cuddle us in her huge mounds for doing such a great job!_

He grinned as he threw his broken crayons carelessly behind himself. He could already see her showering him in kisses for his awesome and hard job. He spent so much time trying to perfect his master piece, he just couldn't wait until she found out about it. She would be so happy!

 _It could be like our anniversary gift!_

 **Except it's not our anniversary. We're not even together, she hates our guts, if you do remember.**

Deadpool frowned as he placed a hand to his chest in mock hurt. "Oh, how you wound me with thou's words!" He cried out dramatically as he fell to his knees, forgetting he was using his awesome ninja skills to sneak around the bedroom.

 **You better run.**

He raised an eyebrow at that remark. Why would the all great and power Lord of Chimichangas run? Besides, it's not everyday he's able to sneak into a hot babe's room while she's asleep.

A moan came from the bed as the covers shifted causing the red and black mercenary to freeze to his spot. The figure sat up reveal a mass of light blonde waves and curls and a pale completion. He felt his heartbeat speed up when her blue and green orbs were hazed with the remains of sleep as her tiny hands rubbed her eyes childishly.

 **Sexy lady.**

 _Boobies; mounds of pure heaven!_

He gaze traveled down to see she was wearing a spaghetti strapped night gown that dipped low, revealing a good amount of cleavage. He swallowed thickly as he slowly eased his way towards the end of the bed in hopes of hiding; the view he was getting was rare.

 **You know, it's not a good idea to hide. She'll only be more upset with us.**

 _But it's boobies_!

Deadpool paid them no mind as he watched her stretch, the blankets falling from her body as she slowly stood up. As if her gown didn't reveal enough up top, it certainly did down below as it ended barely at mid-thigh.

 _We have a hot babe as a girlfriend._

 **She's not our girlfriend.**

 _Duh, of course she is. She lives with us! She's got nice mounds and... just look at those legs! How can they be so long, with her being so... midget-y?!_

 **'Midget-y' is not a word, smart one. And just because she lives with us, doesn't make her ours.**

 _Yes, it does. See... I wrote our name all over her clothes, remember?_

 **I'm surprised she still wears them.**

Deadpool could only nod in agreement as he saw his name written messily all over the white night gown in red crayon. He remembered seeing it in her wardrobe, but he had never seen her wear it; never thought he would see her wear it.

"Wil?"

Deadpool's eyes snapped back to her face as her gaze was now focused solely on him. He jumped up from the floor, waving estatically.

"Bell! Good morning! How was your sleep?" He asked as he skipped over, quick to wrap her small frame into his embrace. Didn't want to ruin the surprise, right?

"Wil, why are you in my room?"

 _She's like an angel..._

 **I'm pretty sure I heard some venom beneath that question.**

"Shhhhh..." He placed a gloved finger against her lips. "Its a secret." He whispered like someone was spying on them. As he pulled back slightly, his hand slid to her butt. In a matter of seconds, her face went red and her two-toned colored eyes widened. Before Deadpool could fully process exactly what he was doing 'wrong', Bell's knee was quick to meet his groin. He squeaked sinking dramatically to his knees for the second time that morning. The pain was ungodly as he held his injury with tears in his eyes.

"Why?" He cried, his voice several octaves higher.

 **I did warn you to run.**

 _She totally wants us._

"You touch my $$, and wonder why I'm upset?!"

 _Oooohhh, she's dirty._

 **I don't think it's wise to comment at the moment.**

"Why didn't you tell me 'good morning'? I did you!" He cried out as he flung his arms towards her, gesturing. She paused in her anger as she looked at him absurdly.

"You-...You're such an idiot, Wil." She frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. She was at a loss for words.

"Your still not saying it!" He pouted. "How could you be so cruel?!" He crossed his arms as he stared at the floor like a child.

"Fine. Good morning, Wade." She gave in, but Deadpool only scowled as he stood up from the floor.

"You didn't call me Wil!" He pouted once more. He liked the nickname she gave him. After all, she was the only one that called him by it; it made him feel special.

 **Yeah, special ed.**

 _Quit trying to be funny, that's my job. You're the one who gives all the dumb advise. Besides, that insulting to our author, she doesn't like jokes like that._

Then why she have me say it?

 _Because nobody likes you. You're boring._

 **I'm realistic**.

 _Boooorrrrrriiiinnngggg_!

Anyways, Bell giving him his nickname is what made him come up with hers. Her actually name is Isabelle, but her voice, to Deadpool, sounded too much like a bell. That's why he prefers her nickname. That, and she looks fragile and delicate.

"After all I did for you, this is how you treat me. If I didn't know better, I would say you hate me, Bell." He grabbed her by her shoulders, pushing his cheek against hers as he basically purred like a kitty.

 **I like kitties, their ears are so cute!**

 _I like bombs...and boobies...boobies are nice._

 **Now you're offending the author!**

"What have you ever done for me?!" Bell demanded as she attempted to move away from the man, but his grip was strong. He was quick to respond as he spun her around in his arms, pointing towards the wall. That was where he had spent the last four hours working on his master piece. Covering the wall, was a drawing of a stick figure horse with two sick figure humans riding the back of the animal. Various colors followed behind the animal while the red outlined human had what looked a like gun in one hand, and a bomb in another. The other one had long blond hair with comically huge boobs holding a katana that was stabbed through the first humans head. Of course, this was all done in crayons.

"Isn't it amazing?" He cooed in her ear.

 _We're like Shakespeare!_

 **Don't you mean Leonardo Da Vinci?**

 _Is that a food_?

 **You're hopeless**.

"What the heck, Wade! Clean this up! Why...- nevermind. Just clean this off." She shoved his arms away as she pushed him towards his drawing.

"But it so awesome!"

"It looks like a two year old drawled it!"

 _She's just jealous of our awesome artistic skillz._

"I can teach you how to draw too, Bell. You don't have to be all jelly!"

Bell's face went red once more, and Deadpool knew if he kept it up, her blood pressure would rise. Suddenly, he started cleaning at the thought. He wasn't stupid, insane, but not stupid. Bell was a diabetic, he knew if her blood pressure went out of wack, it would only risk her feeling bad; he didn't want that at all. Her body needed insulin to work, that included working around with her blood pressure and cholesterol levels. He had seen when she had no insulin, he didn't want to exprience it once more.

"I'm cleaning, see?" He grinned as he rubbed his hands against the walls in the attempt to remove the colorful wax.

She sighed as she gathered her clothes from her dresser. She only had one pair that hadn't been vandalized by the mercenary; which consisted of a white fitted button up shirt and a pair of black leather leggings.

"If you get it cleaned up by the time I'm out of the bathroom, I'll make you breakfast." She offered. He felt his mouth water at the thought of food. Bell always cooked for old Al, but never cooked for him as well. The food she made looked heavenly, he just wondered how it tasted.

"Will you make me chimichangas?! Please, please, please." He chanted as he was at her feet now.

 _We can get her to wear one of those 'Kiss the cook' aprons! Here's our chance._

"Only if you get your mess cleaned up." Bell replied as she walked into the bathroom, practically closing the door on his face.

 **Eating chimichangas for breakfast isn't healthy.**

 _Your face isn't healthy._

Deadpool giggled as he touched his mask. Yeah, healthy wasn't a good adjective to describe his face. It's almost like the author wanted to make his life horrible, it would be, if he didn't have his power of being a ninja.

 **Ninja and idiot are two different things.**

 _Clean-man is my name, cleanness is my game! Let's rock!_

He was quick to throw himself back to his feet before studying the wall as best as he could. What is the best cleaning liquids to use?

 **Baking soda.**

He grinned as he ran towards the kitchen and opened the cabinets. Grabbing the orange small box, he waited for his next brilliant idea.

 _Beer_.

Of course! Beer is man's best friend! It's cleans out your system and all the b!+ching.

 **I think that's suppose to be 'dog is man's best friend'.**

 _It could also be porn. Porn is nice._

 **YOU'RE INSULTING THE AUTHOR AGAIN!**

Deadpool grabbed two of his beers from the fridge, only for them to magically replace themself.

"Gotta love the magic of games."

 _This is our movie, not a game._

 **Both wrong, this is our book.**

"Ok, what else cleans?"

 **Bleach**.

"Thank you, Squirrel."

 **When did I become a squirrel?**

Deadpool ignored him as he took his three items back to Bell's room. Uncapping the beer bottles, he slung the liquid across the wall, imagining he was a famous artist that was stabbing people. Admiring the Golden liquid dripping from, not only the wall, but the dresser as well. He did the same with the bleach, each time he drowned the wall, he would strike a pose.

 _We can be a ballerina_!

Deadpool giggled as he stood on his tippy toes, arching his arms above his head. Unfortunately, he forgot about the jug of bleach in his hand. The sudden action he made caused the pale liquid to pour out onto his head, running down into his eyes and mouth. Deadpool squealed as it started to burn his eyes and his throat closed up.

"My eyes, my precious eyes! Why?!"

He went to run back to the kitchen but paused.

'Wait! The baking soda!'

On that thought, he turned on his heel. He ripped open the box before tossing it carelessly at the wall. He took off running, not even noticing the sizzling that took place on the wall.


	2. Chapter 2

own nothing but the Character Bell, and the plot line.

He was quick to remove his mask, as he splashed cold water from the sink on his scarred face. Rubbing vigorously at his eyes, he grabbed the dish soap and squeezed a glob of the blue liquid into his hands. He scrubbed once more, but it didn't take but a few seconds for his pain to intensify as he groaned.

He washed his eyes out once more with the cold water.

 _Ballerinas are dangerous._

 **I think you made us go blind, idiot.**

When he opened his eyes, everything was beyond blurry. He blinked a few times in the attempt to clear his vision.

"WADE WINSTON WILSON! YOU'RE SO DEAD!" Bell's voice echoed from her bedroom causing the said mutant to frown. Of course, he's dead; he is deadpool after all.

 **That's not how we got our name.**

 _Yes, it is. We died saving the damsel in distress, Bell, from those Super Skrulls._

 **We didn't know Bell when that happened, she wasn't even there. And we aren't dead, we healed all of our injuries; because we are just that awesome.**

 _Whatever_.

Jerking on his mask, he walked into the bedroom to see Bell wearing tight black pants and crisp white shirt.

 **How can she get hotter?**

 _This is Bell we are speaking of._

The only thing that could have been better about the view, was the fact that Bell had on her 'scary' face.

"What did you do?" She seethed pointing to what use to be the wall. However, it seemed to have turned into a puddle of goo.

 **Huh. Make sure to write down how to make that, we can use it on missions**.

 _No. Bombs are what's banging. If there is no 'BOOOOOOOOMMMMMM_ ', it's no fun.

"I cleaned." Was the only thing he could think of with the two idiots in his head rambling on.

 **You just called yourself idiot**.

 _Thank you._

"What did you use?! Acid? Your cooking?"

 **Our cooking isn't that bad?**

"Beer, baking soda, and bleach."

"Why would you use that on a wall?" She frowned.

"Babe, why not? That's the question to this story."

"What story?" She questioned as her eyebrows furrowed together, her pout causing her bottom lip to push out. Deadpool blinked.

 _How does she do that?_

 **You mean give us the nauseating feeling in the pit of stomach that makes us want to run?**

 _Pfffttt. No. Make her eyes so big without popping them like fireworks._

 **Fireworks don't 'pop', they go 'boom'.**

 _Shut up, they do in this story!_

"Well...uhh...nevermind." He mumbled as he rubbed the back of his head, unable to recall what he was going to say.

 _Her hotness is her super power: the ability to make sensible men, like me, into mindless freaks._

 **I'm a freak, but I have a mind**.

 _...okay_.

"Can I have chimichangas now? Pretty pleeeeaaaaaaaaaassseee! I was a goof boy!" He begged as he clasped his hands together.

 _What are you doing, author?! Quite making us look stupid in front of Bell! Its good, not 'goof'._

 ** _Quite yelling, your going to make her write the story where we can't date Isabella! Then we are screwed._**

 _She wouldn't be that mean._

 **-.-' Yes, she would** _._

Bell fought off the smile that wanted to crawl onto her face, but she couldn't hold back the giggle as it escaped from her lips. She shook her head as she patted the top of Deadpools.

"Yeah, you are a 'goof' boy, I suppose. I have a job today, so I won't be able to stay long." She went ahead and explained as she made up her bed.

"How long do you think you'll be?"

 _Awe, we won't be able to play..._

 **She wouldn't play with us anyway. Besides, what is this 'job' about?**

"Why? Are ya going to miss me, Wil?" She smiled, pulling on her black low-cut boots. Deadpool watched as her scar crinkled at the corner of her eye as she smiled. He never had pried on how she had gotten the scar. After all, he can't have her giving information when she hasn't even seen his disfigured face.

In all honesty, he really liked her scar since it was pale compared to her soft complextion, and it extended down her cheek until it reached the corner of her mouth. It really made her eyes stand out even more.

"Just want to know when I am suppose to expect you home, before I send out search partys." His reply was completely honest. He really didn't appreciate that Bell was also a mercenary; it was no career a petite little woman like Bell should pursue.

However, persuading the woman to retire from her line of work was like telling a snake to grow wings and fly: not possible. She was too dedicated, too eager to get a job request. But it was on one of her missions he met Bell.

"I should be back within a week. Take care of Al for me, will you?"

"A week?! But it shouldn't take more than three days. Where are you going?" He scowled, not even his missions took that long unless he dragged them out intentionally; however, if it was ranked an S-class mission, it was dangerous. Even for someone like Deadpool himself. For Bell, despite her talent in hand-to-hand combat, it would be more than a challenge.

"What's the ranking?"

"Its... somewhere in between A and Z." She must've saw the look on Deadpool's face since she was quick to say, "But it's alright because I can... call you if anything were to happen-"

"I'm meeting your employer." He cut her off. He didn't want to hear any of that. It was extremely suspicious that she refused to give the ranking, which was not considered important in anyway to the employer.

"W-what? But it's my job." She protested, spinning around to face him.

"If you refuse to give me your ranking, I have no choice. You can't just expect me to allow you to do a mission that is above the average, especially by yourself."

She crossed her arms, her pout only increasing.

 **Maybe we should allow her the option of us going with her, or she doesn't go at all.**

 _Me likey._

"Either we go with you, or the author won't let you go at all because she doesn't know how to handle all my awesomeness." He jerked a thumb towards his face, feeling proud of his explaination. "And because dogs are evil."

"What are you talking about? Where does this person called 'author' and dogs come into this at any point in time?!" She scowled, taking long strides over to her dresser. Opening a few drawers, she pulled out a few guns, throwing them across the room onto the bed.

 **Thats where she kept her weapons this whole time?!**

 _Why didn't I think of that?_

Deadpool shrugged, it was a better place than where he kept his guns: the oven, fridge, tv, ceiling fan, and his bedroom doorway. One time he hide one in his pants, but when it misfired, he was quick to find another hiding place.

"That was difficult times."

 _We almost became a woman._

 **We almost became a freak of nature. You have boy part, or a girl part, there is no 'neither'.**

 _We could have been unique._

"I could have bo-irl... or gir-oy." He said thoughtfully.

"What are-... I honestly don't want to know what goes on in that thick head of yours." She mumbled as she picked up the weapons from her bed and carelessly through them into a bag before struting past him out the door.

"Well, are you coming or not?" She yelled back, shouldering her duffle bag.

 **That was easier than I thought. Too easy.**

 _She wants me!_


	3. Chapter 3

Nick Fury's POV:

It was silent throughout the helicarrier, too silent for Fury's taste. After the war with Ultron, the Avengers went their separate ways, intent on living out the rest of their lives in peace. Tony Stark was last seen destroying the remainder of his Ironman suits, telling his plans on having surgery done so he wouldn't have to rely on his magnetic chest plate to make sure the shrapnel doesn't reach his heart; he married Pepper a year later.

Steve Rodgers went to live a peaceful life in the country, Bucky following along. Apparently, Steve's mother had owned a house before the he went off in the military and the whole soldier serum started. So far, those two have managed to stay off radar quite well.

Clint Barton returned to his wife and kids with Natasha Romanoff reluctantly moving in, much to the Barton family's joy. Nearly a half a year after the war, a new addition was added to the family when Clint became the proud father of a healthy baby boy named Nathan; despite Natasha's disappointment in the baby being a boy, she grew attached a little too quickly for her liking.

Bruce Banner continued his scientific career, but in a different way than he did in the past. He took up being a professor at a University for gifted teens. The 'green guy' seemed perfectly at ease with the new adjustment of less action; it was a win-win in Banner's eyes. He didn't have to worry about Hulking-out on his hormonal and testosterone filled students.

Thor returned to Asgard with Loki in tow. The God of Mischief, Magic, and Lies actually 'apologized' in his own type of way for the attack on Earth; so now he was on tolerable circumstances with the government. However, what sentences the All-father issued, were still installed. So Loki still wasn't out of the hot water quite yet.

Wanda was assumed to go on living a normal, everyday life after the death of her brother Pietro; Fury didn't quite feel up to looking in on her whereabouts after all the drama.

Fury sighed as he closed the file on his desk, all the peace was about to end. Whatever attempts the Avengers were making to get some normalcy in their life, was pointless.

"Agent Hill, send in Agent Coulson." (A/N: I know he died, but I like him so I want him alive in my book. Deal with it.) He released the intercom button, feeling a bit of pity for the Avengers, but the world was about to need them all over again. And possibly a few more people.

A knock at the door made his gazed move from the manila folders across his desk to see Agent Coulson peeking in, with a weary look dawning on his face when he caught Fury's eyes.

"Come in." Fury's voice was gruff as he straightened himself in his chair, watching the two agents walk briskly into the room, only to pause near his desk.

"You called, Sir?" Agent Hill questioned as she stood stiffly beside Coulson, who still didn't look quite comfortable in the atmosphere. Sliding a stack of folders to the side of his desk, Fury leaned forward.

"Agent Coulson, you are to gather all members of the Avengers. This includes Loki and Wanda. I want them here by tomorrow, is that clear? It is top priority." Fury demanded before turning his attention to the other agent. "You are to locate this man by tomorrow, I want all the information we can get about him. I want to know where he lives, what he eats, and why he breathes; I will not have another war on my hands. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir." Both Agents chorused.

"If you don't mind me asking, Sir, what is the man's name?"

"Wade Winston Wilson." Agent Coulson frowned, that name sounded very familiar.

"Wasn't that the man who works down in sector four?" He questioned, but that didn't feel quite right on his tongue. Fury shook his head as he clasped his hands together.

"No, that is Wayne Weston. I made the same error as well."

Fury was quick to dismiss them from his office, after all, they had people to find. Opening up a new folder, he scanned through its contents briefly before carelessly tossing it into the trash bin beside his desk. He found out one-third of S.H.I.E.L.D's files were made up of minor crimes such as shop lifting. Why such a high ranking organization would stoop to such low levels bewildered Fury to no end, it was the police's job, not his.


	4. Chapter 4

Once more, Deadpool found himself serious at the situation laid before him.

 _Serious is no fun._

 **For once, I believe it is best we take this situation seriously.**

 _Aww, lighten up._

 **I'll do that when I see this dude gone**.

 _Yeah, he does look quite... competitive._

... **.Competitive for our babe maybe.**

Deadpool scoffed at the mere thought of this man getting anywhere near his Bell. The man was short and lean, wearing a business suit that seemed dust free; his body odor less than pleasant. It looked as though a constant bead of sweat clung just above his brow. His brown hair was gelled back revealing cold blue eyes that roamed every inch of Bell's thin body like she was a piece of meat.

 _Hey! Only we can look at Bell like that!_

 **Yeah!**

"So you're my empolyee?" The man asked as he leaned foward on his desk, his lips tugging slightly into a smile.

 _See if he is still smiling when I shove my foot up his a-_

 **Cursing is not appreciated by the author.**

... _Nobody loves you._

 **No one likes you either.**

"Yes, I'm here to be briefed for the mission." Bell replied softly as she placed her hands behind her back. Deadpool took a step foward, closer to her figure, when the man rose from his desk. He didn't like that the man's eyes were more trained on her chest, rather than her face.

 _That's our boobs!_

 **My property**.

 _ **Our woman.**_

"Are you sure, little lady? This is a very dangerous job. A little petite doll such as yourself needs protection from such dangers, you need a man to protect you." The man placed a hand on his chest with a frown. "I would feel mighty awful should something happen to you, doll face."

 _Doll face? Who does this idiot think he is?_

"Don't have a heart attack on us, womanizer. I'm here as her personal bodyguard." Deadpool forced out 'cheerfully', but his mask hid the scowl present on his face.

 _I wouldn't mind him having a heart attack... anyone else?_

 **Idiot. It's only us two, who else would agree?**

 _There is six more of us!_

 **Who?**

 _There is Disgust, Anger, Fear, Joy, Sadness, and Insanity! Oh, don't you just love Pixar?!_

 **Insanity isn't one of the characters.**

 _Do you hear that?_

 **No**.

 _It's the sound of me not giving a flying fudge cake!_

 **I want fudge now.**

The man's face seemed to twist into a scowl as his gaze shifted to the red-clad figure, whom stood almost protectively beside Bell.

"If my memory serves me right, this mission request was a solo. Who are you?"

 _Finally, a chance to show ourself off!_

"Well, it starts with a 'D' and ends with an 'L'. What's that spell?"

 _Oh, I KNOW THIS! It's Daniel!_

 **Darnell**.

 _Dingle_.

 **That ends with a 'e'.**

 _Same difference!_

 **Daegel**.

 _That's not a name!_

 **It actually is, it is derived from England. Dingle, however, is not a name.**

 _Shut up, brains. Dalal._

 **Dalzeil**.

 _... um, D...Dance_.

 **Wrong, that's Dancer, Santa's reindeer**.

 _Whoever said Dance was a deer, huh? He could be a human... with horns... and a gun... dancing to techno... in a bar with strippers._

... **but they are not really strippers, they are aliens from planet Hoe... think about it...**.

... _You're a horrible person._

"This is my friend Deadpool, he is here as my backup, should anything get out of hand." Bell filled in, causing the said man to deflat.

 _FRIEND-ZONED!_

 **You yelling that doesn't help anything.**

 _I'm just going to sulk in a corner._

 **Go cry, you emo baby.**

"I'm not a emo!" Deadpool yelled holding his head. Emos were scary, he wasn't scary at all!

 **You didn't deny being a baby...**

"Wil, are you alright?" Bell asked as she placed a hand on his shoulder, peering up at him.

Deadpool snapped outta his thoughts, as the two voices continued to throw names back and forth. This was like fourth grade all over again.

"They're being mean again!" He whined pointing towards his head. He had already told Bell about the voices in his head. Oddly enough, she didn't judge him like everyone else. She only giggled before patting the top of his head. Although, he isn't quite sure she took him serious. He REALLY does have voices IN his head!

Bell smiled as she hopped over to the mercenary, grabbing his masked face in between her hands.

 **Maybe we should talk more often.**

 _We got the chick's attention!_

 **Quick, say something stupid.**

"Uhh..." He mumbled.

"Tell the voices to shut up then." She chirped as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

 _Ha, she's so stupid to think that would work. At least, the attention is all on us._

 **Now she thinks we're crazy!**

"That's because I am, okay?!" Deadpool snapped. He scowled, how can the voices be so stupid?

 _Probably because you are._

"Shut up before I shoot you!"

 _As if you can shoot me, I have my own freaking movie! Im just that AWESOME!_

 **Idiot. We** ** _are_** **Deadpool, how can he hurt one of us without the other.**

Deadpool grinned as he grabbed his gun from its holster. His smile only widening as he placed the barrel of the weapon to his temple.

"Oh, I can hurt you!"

"Wil, NO! Put that thing down right now, baka!" Bell's voice was drowned out by a loud BANG!

 **How does this help us get a date again?**


End file.
